Confessions of a Type A, first born, Capricorn, Myers-Briggs INFJ, and Enneagram type 1:
I stink at resting.
(Whew, I said it. Deep breaths now. It. Is. Done.)
No seriously, "taking a break" or a sabbath- at one point in time those words did not exist in my own personal vocabulary.
In ways my upbringing, the reward systems for being a high achiever, my own internal dialog, my views about the world, and how those in it viewed me... all lead me to believe that I had to carry an immense weight on my shoulders. Because I "knew" how to bear it. I had done it so long I could do it again. People were depending on me. And I could not imagine ever letting them down. Or so I thought...
I relate so much to the character Luisa in the Disney movie Encanto. If you and your family haven't seen that movie yet- I highly recommend it!
Luisa is the big sister gifted with so much strength, mentally and physically. Her value to her family and community come from her ability to be strong and courageous, brunting the burdens others place on her because she knows how to manage under all the pressure. But when her magical powers, aka her strength, are disrupted by a kink in the family matrix, she begins to lose her powers and also her identity. What would others think if she could no longer bear the physical and mental burdens of her family? What value would she have if she's no longer the strong and courageous one?
Turns out we all need a sister (or a friend) like Luisa's sister, Mirabele. Mirabel expresses compassion towards her big sister Luisa and is one of the first people to acknowledge all the hard work that she does and suggest that perhaps it's too much for one person to handle.
Oh my gosh! Have you ever had a moment with a family member or close friend where you truly felt seen, heard, and they acknowledge all that you are going through or have been through? The floodgates open with so much pain yet such relief.
Turns out compassion can be a very powerful gift!
For me- it took time and a lot of patience to truly learn how to rest. I had to learn (and am still learning) to give myself permission to prioritize rest as part of my normal weekly routines. I have had to purposefully schedule time for rest in my calendar so that I don't book those days or evenings with yet another playdate, another event, or some other project I've been itching to complete.
Turns out rest is just as important (if not more important) than play. Without rest, we can find ourselves feeling a lot like the road runner- always going and always exhausted. We might try our best to fuel our exhaustion with coffee, pop, extra vitamins, and chanting to ourselves that we can push through, find the endurance, or that what we are doing is noble and no one else can do it.
But we need to fill our own cups (not with coffee, but rest) before we can pour out to others cups. It's not always easy, and in some seasons we need more rest than in other seasons.
So if you are anything like me, today I give you permission:
You can rest! You can take a day to just breath. To soak in our Gods presence. To be still and know that he is for us and not against us. To clear your mind and soul. To hang in a hammock and listen to the breeze. Or sit under a tree or near a crackling fire and get lost in a good book or hallmark Christmas movie.
The world is going to keep spinning and the sun is going to keep shining. It's okay- you have permission to rest!
"When you're looking in the mirror and you're struggling to believe
Am I really who He says I am, or will God give up on me?
When anxiety is yelling and it's drowning out today
When it's hard to see tomorrow and you don't know how to pray
You can rest, you can rest
In the one who never breaks His promises
Close your eyes, talk to Him
When you're scared and feel the darkness rolling in
In your worry and your pain, just breathe in and out His name
Jesus, oh, Jesus
And you can rest"