Friendly reminder to all the parents out there: one of the greatest impacts you will ever have on this world is within your home.
That's right... we're talking about the kids today! Our children are the next generation of leaders, influencers, artists, doctors, teachers, politicians, ministers, first responders, and so on. There are few things more important and more rewarding than training up our children in the ways they should go.
Our children were born with many talents, skills, and great purpose over their lives. One of our primary jobs as parents is to help our children nurture their gifts and learn just who they were called to be. It is not our job as parents to fit them in a box or decide for them early on whom they should be or what profession they ought to pursue.
This means putting our desires, wishes, and dreams for them aside. And I will be honest, for many of us, it can be hard to do. We often want our children to have what we didn't have, to experience the joys in life we had to forgo, and to avoid all the pitfalls, heartache, and pain we personally experienced.
Although, if we truly reflect back on all of our experiences; many of the pitfalls, heartaches, and pain points were teachable moments for us. In many cases there were natural consequences for our poor choices or behaviors that eventually taught us, corrected us, and guided us. You might even say that many of our past scars made us who we are today, and in many cases we are thankful for those experiences and moments of growth and maturity.
Parenting often feels like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park! It is not always fun dishing out the consequences or watching your child fail over and over again. As parents, many of us long to have a positive, joyful, best-friend like relationship with our children. But I truly believe that is not what God calls us to. He calls us instead to discipleship.
So what is discipleship parenting?
Discipleship parenting means that we are leading our children by example, following Jesus. It means that we are doing our best to read his word and follow it by practicing the fruits of the spirit daily- expressing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control every chance we can. It means living our lives in such a way that naturally leads our children to their own meaningful relationship with Jesus.
Now all of this is much easier said than done, am I right? How many times have your children been in the backseat when someone cuts you off on the freeway and you blurt out some unkind remark to the other driver? Or how many times have you talked shop or gossiped about someone when your children were within earshot? Or how many times have you practiced generosity in front of your children? Or let yourselves be inconvenienced to help someone else in need? How many times have you prayed to God in front of your children? Or thanked God for the blessings you've received in front of them?
Parenting is hard, no matter what generation, nationality, zip code, or income level. There is not a manual or a one size fits all approach you can take. But there is one person you can introduce them to again and again over time... Jesus!
Did you know that a child's moral standards are basically in place by age 9, their beliefs about Christ in place by age 12, and they pretty much believe what they’re going to believe spiritually for the rest of their lives by age 13? Woah!
Now many of us might be saying "I don't have enough time to do all the things and to be all the things my child needs". Trust me- neither do I! Working full time, pursuing my own callings and gifts, attending and serving in the church, and everything in between often feels like a weekly game of tetras. I often feel like a near empty packet of ketchup - squeezing out every last drop I can out of my week so that everyone, including myself, gets their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs met.
If we take a good look, I will bet that there are some areas in our lives that could be reprioritized to give us more time to practice some discipleship parenting. Maybe its cutting back screen time for everyone and serving our community or church in some way once per week. Maybe its only allowing so many extra curricular activities per season so that family dinners can happen at least three nights a week. Or maybe its getting creative with some close family or friends to "be the village" and take turns watching each other's children so that attendance in a ministry, parenting class, or date night can happen.
If the devil cannot make you bad, he will surely make you busy! I see it time and time again in my life. Just like a kid in a candy shop, everything this world has to offer can look so appealing at the surface. But saying "yes" to that next opportunity or event usually means saying "no" to our margin, routines, or dare I say sanity.
The world will pull you in many directions. The devil will also pull you in many directions and make you feel guilt, shame, or a fear of missing out. The bible says that even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14).
Our job in part as parents is to prioritize our family and children over the world, to live our lives best we can according to God's word, and to practice showing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control every chance we get. So let's keep our eyes fixed on the things above and bring our children up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).
