With the graduation season upon us, my family and I attempt to attend every graduation party we are invited to. Everyone deserves to be celebrated, especially when it comes to something as big as a graduation.
My favorite thing to celebrate is not just the graduate themselves, but their parents, siblings, and close friends and family who helped along the way.
It's always so fun, yet surreal, to see some of these graduates beam with pride as they cut the cake, entertain guests, and share their hopes and dreams for their future. Often their parents within earshot beaming almost as brightly as their graduate, while also holding back many tears of joy as they recollllect all the hard times, heart aches, heartbreaks, and all the effort, determination, and grace it took to get to this point.
Often we define success in grandios ways. We view success as "the finish line" where one big party is thrown to celebrate.
But life is not a race to the finish line. In my mind, it's a bunch of tiny moments of success that build upon each other. The world may only recognize and celebrate the big accomplishments, but as parents we have to remember to celebrate all the small triumphs and wins.
For us, getting our four year old to choose kindness and selflessness over greed and self centeredness is a HUGE daily win in our parent playbook. Getting our six year old to be confident in herself, to choose pride over her own work and not compare it to another's work is a really big deal. And for our nine year old, teaching her how to extend grace to herself, her siblings, and her parents daily is a win.
As parents, if we only focus on the big stuff we will drive ourselves crazy. The small stuff is where life and love can truly be found. Its recognizing the small wins that build our children up, give them the hope and courage to try again, and build trust and close connections with us and their community.
I love how my favorite poet defines success:
"To laugh often and much: To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded" -Ralph Waldo Emerson
I think he has a similar mindset to my husband and me. What a great way to measure success- how often am I truly laughing? How often am I able to appreciate God's beautiful creations? Am I leaving the world a bit better today than it was yesterday?
Man oh man- to know we are successful by these measures alone might just change how we lead our lives. Perhaps we would take more time to appreciate our families, laugh a little more, stress a little less, and relish in the fact that we are already extremely successful and blessed.
I pray today that if you feel you are chasing your tail, running the rat race to a finish line that keeps moving on you, or climbing a ladder that just keeps growing faster than you can climb it that you are not alone. In fact, you are in good company. You have permission from me to stop trying so dang hard, to stop striving for perfection or whatever the world defines as success. May God show you just how lovely, talented, wonderful, and truly blessed you are today.
