This past weekend at bedtime my nine year old came to me in a puddle. She was hiding her tears from me. After some coaxing she shared that she didn’t know if she was ready to be a big sister.
We have been doing weekend respite care for two beautiful children (6yo & 4yo) since September and in March welcomed them into our home full time.
Rewind our tape even further, we adopted a beautiful baby girl when my now nine year old was four years old. This baby girl went to heaven at the ripe age of two due to Tay-Sachs disease.
Somewhere in the mix of feelings this weekend, my nine year old daughter was grieving her baby sister and also fearful that she didn’t have what it takes to be a big sister. Mind you that she has taken on the role of big sister most days with pride and courage and great patience (somedays even I am envy of).
I shed some tears with her, snuggled her close, and admitted to her that I too wasn’t sure if I was ready to be a mom of three beautiful daughters. That I wasn’t sure if I had what it takes, enough patience, enough grace, enough good tasting dinners they’d all approve of.
That it is okay to be unsure. Actually it’s totally acceptable to be unsure. Most days, we are simply making things up, doing experiments, learning by trial and error what works and what doesn’t.
But at the end of the day we have abundant grace from our God, to keep trying. To keep making mistakes, asking for forgiveness and prayer, and to keep learning from Jesus how to live a life full of love and joy and hope and peace.
To be truly honest, if we are waiting to be “ready” for things, we might be waiting for a lifetime. We might actually miss the bus and opportunity on this side of heaven if we wait too long. We are never quite ready for whatever the world or God throws at us.
God has this funny way of trusting us and blessing us in so many unexpected ways. In some ways we may not feel ready or qualified. But God knows that our character is ready, and he typically won’t bless us or put us in situations our character cannot handle.
So sometimes we need to take a leap of faith. It’s not always easy. That leap can feel like jumping off the top of the Empire State Building. It can be terrifying sometimes.
Will we fall? Maybe. But what if instead we fly? What if we soar like eagles? Free in the wind and our spirits full of joy and gratitude?
We will never obtain all the God has in store for us if we remain afraid or wait until we feel 100% ready or qualified. If you ask me, God doesn’t look for the people who are qualified. Nope! Instead he calls upon those with great character, humility, a heart for his people, and his words written on the tablets of their heart.
So what are you afraid of? Is there a calling or gift you have that is being pushed aside because you feel unqualified?
If that’s you today, I suggest you share your dreams and fears with a close friend and pray over it. Ask God to show you the path, give you the endurance and character and humility to pursue his will over your life. And then take a leap of faith. Life’s a dance - we learn as we go!
“The longer I live, the more I believe
You do have to give if you wanna receive
There's a time to listen, a time to talk
And you might have to crawl even after you walk
Had sure things blow up in my face
Seen the long shot win the race
Been knocked down by the slammin' door
Picked myself up and came back for more
Life's a dance you learn as you go
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
Don't worry about what you don't know
Life's a dance you learn as you go”