As a mom of three kiddos in elementary school - I remind my kids daily as they head out the door to their bus stop “today is going to be a great day, remember to be bucket fillers”.
What is a bucket filler you might be asking yourself right now?
We all experience positive emotions- like when something brings you joy, creates excitement, or makes you feel good inside and out. Now imagine these emotions could be “caught” and placed in a bucket- your own personal bucket of all the feel-goods!
Now imagine as you go throughout your day, other people in your day-to-day fill your bucket with more joy, more excitement, more hope, more good vibes. Take it another step further- what if your bucket was filled to the brim today with all those feelings? You’d likely say you were having a pretty amazing day.
This lesson is often taught in Prek, kindergarten, and first grade classrooms the beginning of every school year. There are even children’s books, crafts, object lessons, the whole nine yards to build a simple lesson plan on this very idea.
Kindness and gratitude and self sacrifice for the sake of another human being is a choice, not a feeling! We have to choose to fill our own bucket and also fill other's buckets as we go about our day. It takes effort, thought, and daily reminders until it becomes a habit.
So each and every morning- I remind my children to be bucket fillers. And when they come home each day, I ask them in what ways did they fill other's buckets today? And how did your friends or teachers fill their buckets today?
You’d be surprised how observant our children truly are at even the smallest of things. And also just how excited they get when they know they’ve filled someone else’s bucket that day.
Somedays it’s something as simple as giving someone a compliment or hug. Other days they are noticed by their teachers for going above and beyond - picking up the room without being asked, noticing a classmate struggling with a project and helping them out, allowing someone else to go first or in front of them in line, or sacrificing their own lunch or recess time to help another student who is feeling down that day.
At the end of the day, our family values our children’s character- how kind, loving, compassionate, caring, patient, respectful and humble they are over whether or not they are making all of their marks in the classroom.
In due time children will make connections with the lessons and material when their brains and bodies are ready (e.g., kids learning long division or how to read a chapter book).
We care far more about our children’s well being, how they feel, AND how they make others around them feel day to day. Because if they can create and be in an environment where the bucket filling is reciprocated, our children will feel even more safe, cared for, loved, comfortable, and ready and able to learn with joy, hope, excitement, and wonder.
I think the Bible tends to agree - check out Proverbs 11:25:
“The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped. A generous person will be enriched, and the one who gives a drink of water will receive water.”
So if you’re a parent with young ones, I encourage to focus more on your children’s character (their “bucket filling” abilities) and maybe not as much on their ability to recite poetry, memorize 8x7 (it’s still 56), or write their b’s and d’s correctly 100% of the time (I never imagined before becoming a parent how many times I would say “this letter has a diaper/this letter has a belly”).
They will graduate, eventually knowing all of this. They don’t need to know it all perfectly today. Let’s give ourselves some grace, focus on their hearts, and trust that the living word is just that- living! It was good news then and it is still good news now. Hallelujah ;)
"Some say, Don't give up
And hope that your good is good enough
Head down, keep on working
If you can earn it, you deserve it
Some say, Push on through
After all, it's the least that you can do
But don't buy what they're sellin'
It couldn't be further from the truth
What if I were the one to tell you
That the fight's already been won?
Well, I think your day's about to get better
What if I were the one to tell you
That the work's already been done?
It's now a good news
It's the best news ever"